5,000 kms and Many Ponies Later

In February, I came home to an excited Roomy who leapt up and said "Roomy!  Orlando is only a 24-hour drive away!" 

She was of course referring to the My Little Pony Fair location, but I love a roadtrip and I was in. (She's a collector, I'm an enabler. I could be an award-winning enabler, if such awards were handed out.  Heck, I drove her to Memphis, Kentucky and Rhode Island (twice!) to fairs, I made sure a door was built to her pony room so she wouldn't kill my infiltrating kittens (that was partly for me, too), I drive her to random thrift stores to go pony shopping, and I even brought her to IKEA while recovering from food poisoning to get her a new shelf, and even built it that day. See?  Master enabler. Or a sucker.  I'm cool with either.)

Oh, and I help build dioramas.  Past years have been more intricate. This year I was too busy, but we already have a plan for next year.  If it's in Chicago. If it's not in Chicago, we're doooomed. But I can live with that.

Last year, Roomy instituted a Marie Activity into each pony fair trip, partly as a treat/thank you, partly as a way to ensure that I don't lose interest. Last year it was a Lovecraft walking tour in Providence, Rhode Island, and this year it was the Kennedy Space Center.  I have to admit that I'm not even the one who thought about the space centre.  I was looking at Disney Land and Lego Land and all sorts of expensive lands, but my wee little twice-whiplashed-why-do-you-crouch-so-much neck is a ride hater since Edmonton's Mindbender made it go "crick and crook."  And they never answered my requests to rename it The Neckbender.  Oh well.

But Roomy mentioned the space centre and that was that. The rest is pictures:

We gave space ice cream to our friends as a souvenir.  Because nothing says "I'm thinking about you" better than freeze-dried dairy products.

This is me, destroying important and undoubtedly expensive machinery with my poor flying skills on mars.  I died, my whole team died, but it was a heck of a good time.

I know, I know - Danger, Will Robinson (I so love that show).  But if that thing comes out of the woodwork and starts yammering at me about danger, I'm screaming at it and running away. Because I ain't lost in no space and that'd be weird shit happening.

There's just too much awesome in this picture.

Space propaganda made us happy.

This had the Canadarm and the Hubble, so we were happily geeking over it.

That's it for the space centre.  We were there for four hours and could have enjoyed another four.  It was pure awesome.  (Plus, I got in a potential legal altercation going there, where my flight instinct kicked into full gear regardless of alarms and flashing lights and all that good stuff. But I'll see what, if anything, comes out of this before I blog on what might potentially be my poorest reaction to a life situation yet (aka dumbest moment).  My friends were bent over in two crying and laughing as I told them, so that's usually a good clue that I wasn't so bright.  But I'll tell you all about it later!)

So, anyway... then there was the fair!

Our diorama was a bit less than inspired, but still cute.  We brought Canadian winter to Florida.  We have ponies playing hockey, with cheap ass little hockey sticks made out of cardboard.  On the left, you can see a green ribbon - that's the top of the wrapping of a gingerbread house. We decided to wrap it so that we could sell it, and people's grubby little hands and sneezes wouldn't be all over it. I made the world's worst sale sign imploring people to take it so I wouldn't eat it all and gain twenty pounds and have to go pants shopping because I hate pants shopping. In retrospect, that was a poor selling technique.  We didn't sell it (see?  Very poor).  Instead, it broke out of its wrapping as I was carrying it to the car and landed on the hotel carpet on its side in an explosion of happy colours.  ...I still ate it.

The 501st was there, and they were loving it.  Yes, that's a pony/storm tropper hybrid.  It's okay to cry.

Roomy won first prize in the custom contest!  Woo!  She made a nebula pony in honour of the Kennedy Space Centre. It's super awesome.  This side show the Horsehead Nebula, and you'd swear it was airbrushed on, it's so good. But no - Roomy is all about brushes.  There's a little space shuttle with the Canadarm sticking out on her leg (we're proud of that - Canadians like to grab stuff, remember that!).  On her other side is the Cat's Eye Nebula.  I helped with nebula identification, because I love nebulae. They're made of gassy win.

Overall I had an awesome time. My new car, Lorna, did a great job getting us there and back. I can safely say she's broken in, now!  Two weeks with me and she's already needed her first oil change. 

More posts to come later on the Haunted Pony and the legal altercation.  Woo!

Life is good.

3,200 kms, Two Cons and One Swamp Later...

The past two weeks have been rollicking crazy fun.  Roomy and I started off by going to the My Little Pony Fair in Providence, Rhode Island.  (She's the collector. I'm the enabler, the ride and the booth bunny!)  We started off our stay in Providence with a Lovecraft tour.  For the poor souls amongst you who are not aware, H.P. Lovecraft spent quite a bit of his life in Providence.  So did Edgar Allan Poe, while he courted the lovely poet Sarah Whitman (who ultimately rejected his boozy advances). 

Providence is really steep, really humid, and really hot.  It's a miracle Roomy and I survived.  Actually, it was all thanks to the frozen lemonade.  Bless those entrepreneurs who never give up on the lemonade stand dream.

See?  Steep.  Well, okay, you can't really tell, but trust me, it's steep and full of death!  Says so right there on the sign.

Cemetery where Lovecraft and Poe gained much inspiration.  After spending a cheerful sunny morning wandering its messy ranks of tombstones crumbling since before their time, I understand why.

... The Shunned House.  Aaah!  See the kitchen door behind the tree, opening onto the street...

The Shunned House is for sale!  Get your creepy real estate today!

Providence lines from the great floods which would have covered Roomy whole and swept her away.  Sad.

The Providence Athenaeum, where Lovecraft spent many an hour and Poe courted Sarah Whitman.

Lovecraft memorial, erected in 1990.

After a day wandering the streets after Lovecraft (and eating at the Cheesecake Factory with friends, mmm, cheesecake), we trekked off to Hasbro the next day.

This was the fourth My Little Pony Fair I attended.  The first was in Memphis, Tennessee, three days ride away (and two to come back when doing 90 mph through Kentucky.  Ah, you unbridled spirit, you.)  I had just bought my lovely car, Maude, when Roomy mentioned that she couldn't afford to go to the Fair that year.  Roomy was sad and I had a car, so I figured: road trip!  Ergo, one of the first things I did with my new (used) car was to drive it three days away. It was awesome.

So this was my fourth Fair (still a sucker for a road trip).  I helped Roomy build a diorama (last year, I constructed a model of the Kentucky Derby's Winner's Circle).  This year we went for a Fair theme.  The centrepiece was a carrousel, which used up all of my swear words several times.  A grand time was had by all.

Hasbro is fun.  They have a Lite Bright Lane. I can't show you any pics since their suited muscle forbade it (they had a lot of muscle), but it was neat.  Trust me.

Roomy's booth.  Lotsa ponies.

Carrousel that used up all of my swear words.  Cellophane is not the sturdiest material.  We made it there okay, but on the way back a large piece of luggage tipped right on top of it.  We heard its crinkly cry of death and laughed.

Roomy's custom entries.  My Little Cthulhu was very popular!

Cake.  Large slab cake.  I put this here to confess that I didn't have a piece.  I was on sugar overload from being in pink land already, so I feared diabetes would sweep me away right there and then.  Kind of like the flood waters of Providence might have swept Roomy away, many decades ago.

And a good time was had by all.  Roomy and I headed back to Ottawa through the Adirondacks.  There are some haunted buildings in those hills, I'd be willing to bet my nephew's favourite pair of socks on it. (Not mine.  He might not notice if he lost his favourite pair. I'd go into shock. Don't worry - I'd buy him even cooler socks. I'm a good aunty, thank you very much.)

Then I was off to the cottage!  I hung out with my family, including my cute drooly niece and my non-drooly nephew. It was relaxing, which is always lovely. I'm not a fan of posting pictures of my niece and nephew on my blog, but trust me, they're adorable.

Following a nap in the swamp, an inability to find a frog (possibly due to nap) and my brother's heroic and nearly leechy dive for a turtle, I decided to attempt kissing the shelled reptile to see what would happen.  Turns out the stories are true.  It's the frogs that turn into princes.

I went straight from there to Polaris 25.  Wait, first I dropped my mom off at the Toronto Union Station.  Toronto drivers?  Like, regular, day of the week, let's drive downtown Toronto drivers?  You're crazy.  Don't argue. You know as well as me that it's true.

Polaris was an awesome time. I hung out with lots of cool folk, mostly fellow author Erik Buchanan and his lovely lady at the Dragon Moon Press table.  Thanks to everyone who came to say hi and buy books, and to everyone who came to the launch of When the Hero Comes Home!  I still grieve having missed the ice cream social.  Next year, I'll just host my own. Oh ya, like I'll remember.  I'd manage to miss that, too!

Thanks to so many people, including Karen Dales, Violette Malan, J.M. Frey, my bus buddy (Thought Admiral Korath), K.W. Ramsey, Eric Choi... and so many others who made this con memorable!

I'd likst you (okay, I left this open for a second to run after a bad cat, and I have no idea what I was going on about, but it makes me sound drunk and bossy, so I'm leaving it in.  I think it's a good end to this post, too!)

Love,

Marie

Wondrous Holidays - Little House of Horrors

At first my roomy’s collection involved a lot of eBay shopping when My Little Ponies were but a toy of Christmases past. It was pretty exciting, truly. I spent loads of time with her (way more than I care to admit) learning the various collecting tidbits (discoloration, hair condition, pony cancer – yes, ponies get sick too), and I even knew enough to buy her some coveted ones for her birthday, along with the rest of our pony supportive gang.

We also hit loads of consignment and second-hand stores. Those are gold for discarded pony toys.

Coveted expensive British pony.  Roomy squee'd loads when she purchased him.

Then, things changed. Hasbro, makers of My Little Pony, took out a new line (the third by then, actually), and although at first they were greeted with skepticism, my roomy soon fell in love with them. Completely and utterly in love. That's when the collection started to get big.  Out of control, some might say. But not I.  I've seen how many ponies she could actually own.

So we went to toy stores and discount stores and even grocery stores to hunt ponies. I thought it was kind of fun, to be honest. The thrill of the hunt (and of watching your roommate squeal louder than a five-year-old on sugar).

THEN things grew. An entire online community popped out of nowhere (well, okay, from SOMEWHERE, but I certainly didn’t know they existed). They started to not only chat about collecting the ponies – they now wanted to customize them.

That’s right. They made their own.

Old disheveled ponies were renewed or customized, and new easy-to-find and generally uncoveted ponies (read: rejects!) by the pony community were changed and re-coloured into something completely different. What does that mean, you may ask (foolishly).

They pull their heads off, rip their hair out, boil them, bleach them, dye them, repaint them, re-hair them, sometimes glue them or add clay to them and then, to seal the final act, they rename them, as though doing so will somehow erase the terrible memories of what’s been done to them. It’s true plastic surgery. Gone terribly wrong.

De-haired pony ready for action.  See this pony?

I've spared you the graphic photos (you're welcome).  See this pony almost fully customized.

Now see this pony.  I have to admit she's awesome.  Totally awesome.

Still, getting to that final product ain't pretty.  It’s a house of horrors even Jason would avoid.

Sometimes, early in the morning, I head into the kitchen and there’s an army of beheaded ponies staring at me, pleading to be saved.  “Help us!” their eyes implore.  If they still have eyes, that is, and they haven’t been acetoned off. (Acetone. Did I mention the acetone? Roomy has a HUGE BOTTLE of it!)

Roomy says they feel better afterwards. I've yet to study the plastic pony psychology to support this statement.

But they ARE plastic ponies, let’s keep things in perspective, and although they may not feel much, they do look cool afterwards, like these:

Firefly fan, anyone?

Ridiculously small and detailed ship.  This isn't even the worst of it. Roomy has strong painting Kung Fu. 

Almost four years ago, after buying my new car, my roomy mentioned that there was going to be a pony fair in Memphis. Three days’ ride away. Game on! We packed the ponies and crossed the border, enjoying a lovely road trip. The community was very nice, I must admit, and I spent most of my time in the convention enjoying their company. Loads of them are artists, and very impressive artists, to boot. They have contests, art shows and prizes, some of which Roomy won (I’m very proud of my roomy).

See?  Awards!

The next year the fair was in Rhode Island. I joined again. Only one day away! We headed off and crossed the border easily again (we’re very honest. Few people question you when you have proof that you’re heading to a pony fair). Again, loads of fun.

On the way back, we were stopped at the border and told to pull over. We watched from the sidelines in bemusement as they opened luggages and bags only to find pink plastic ponies everywhere. My roomy was mumbling that she hoped they wouldn’t pop their heads off (not so good for the customized ones).

But we were soon on our way, with shocked border guards stating they had never seen so much pink. It’s true, I bet you they hadn’t, and probably haven’t since.

This year we went to Kentucky, which was also a hoot.  I truly enjoyed these fairs, and thought the folks there were nice and fun, and there were loads of shiny things to look at and then tell my friends back home about, like war stories from some distant and vastly different land.

Mmm, Kentucky...

Roomy makes pet companions, too, and clothing.  And she gives them cool accessories.  Very important in Pony land.

More award-winning ponies, celebrating the 25th anniversary.

All right, I kept it light.  I didn't show you the beheaded ponies.  You'll have to take my word for that.  But the end results are pretty amazing.  Even when (evil) kittens chew on them, she finds a way to make the design work despite chew marks, which I think is talent.

I should mention that she has customs up for sale and you can also commission a pony.  This is (almost) 2011, people.  Pony collectors don't mess around anymore.

One more installment of Wondrous Holidays is coming up.  Stay tuned!

Wondrous Holidays - Dioramas

Whenever I think I'm insane (as opposed to the times I'm sure of it), I stare into Roomy's spare room to comfort myself.  Roomy, as you most of you know, is a My Little Pony collector.  Ergo, her spare room is full of ponies.  Not a little bit of full, either.  Lots of full.

This is a My Little Pony from the 80s.  Her name is Firefly.  Ain't she cute?

Since the 80s, they've released three pony generations, with a fourth one slowly trickling into markets now, which equates to HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of ponies, a good chunk of which are represented in Roomy's Pony room.  It's fantastic.  We swapped my writing room with her pony room recently because, well, she needed more room and less light and I needed less room and more light.  And look - this is Roomy's stuff piled up after the room swap -

Scary, I know.  It's organized now, and less scary.  Sort of.

So for our first wondrous holidays showcase, the first in a, um, four part series (?), I will now show you her holiday diorama evolution over the years.   Every year, Roomy runs around town to get new lights, lamp posts, decorations, trees, and all other types of pony-sized holiday fun.  It makes her very giddy, until she realizes how many she needs to clean and style, and then her eyes grow as big as her head as she panics.  It's all a very steep emotional roller coaster.

Five years in retrospect:

Quaint gathering of a few ponies at Dream Castle in 2005.  Note decorations and tiny wreaths.

A similar gathering in 2006, with baby ponies looking up longingly at the gifts on the tree.  Note that the ponies have  outfits.

In 2007, Roomy and her two cats moved in with me and my two cats.  Space was limited.  Ponies appeared in random places.   Wearing cute outfits, of course!

In 2008, cursed with a leaky roof and Lake Bilodeau, we moved to a townhouse.  Lots of room.  And the spare room upstairs with the door became the pony room.  Note more outfits and decorations.  Roomy was enthused.

In 2009, we reached situation critical.  Majesty, head pony, seemed to have invited too many other ponies to her party, with a bunch of others looking on longingly, banished, unclothed, to undecorated shelves.  It was a sad, sad year.  Someone spiked the ponies' punch and I think there was a stampede.  Ponies were lost.  That's what overpopulation really does.  Right there.  Pony plagues are expected to hit at any time to cleanse pony population and make room for stronger ponies.

Then...  came the great pony room swap of 2010.  While at the My Little Pony fair in Kentucky (I'm a sucker for a road trip), Roomy mentioned she would not be buying any play sets because she simply didn't have room for them.   Which was very, very true.

See?  There ain't no room in that pony room.

And after the semi-disastrous installation of a door on the old downstairs writing room...

Big ol' pony mess.  But there's room for various pony lands!

As you can imagine, the 2010 display was, um, enthused?  Impressive?  Frightening?  It was an ENTIRE TOWN OF PONY!

OMG!  Ponies!!!

And more ponies over there!

And tropical southern vacationing ponies! They're everywhere!  

My friend Dylan, who also lives with a pony collector, tells me that by giving her the bigger room I've made Roomy mad with power.  I believe he's right.  He's a neurologist, too, so he knows these things. 

But this is just the tip of the iceberg, my friends.  Wait until I reveal other secrets of Roomy's dark pony ways.

Prepare to be shocked in our next installment of "Wondrous Holidays!"