Friday 17 December 2010

Flashback - Death of Computer

Note: I was going to start posting magical things this Friday, but I've been informed I shouldn't post said magical things until after tomorrow, since magical things won't be revealed until then. But I will tell you that these magical things are my Roomy's Christmas hobby this year, and it's pretty fun.  I'll post some on Tuesday.  For now, here's a What The Friday?  :P

Sometimes I cry when computers die.  This time, I just got annoyed that my "day work" computer wouldn't die quickly enough.  This e-mail was originally written on May 31, 2006.  One of the IT guys thought it was entertaining enough to keep on file, and he just re-sent it to me (thanks Hubert!).  And I thought it'd make for a quick blog post, as I'm up against many deadlines.  And this e-mail worked, as it got me a new computer, so feel free to use it in your own workplace! (Author is not responsible for negative consequences.)


The e-mail was written by my computer.  Truly.  He thought he had hands, too!

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Dear IT Team,

Although I have lived a long life where once I was useful, I now realize that my mental state is quickly declining and I am no longer the ripping cool beast I imagine I once was.  Even if your earlier care has ensured me some good final months, I fear I must now take matters into my own hands.

My mental lapses are too much to bear, and every time I collapse, I take away small, important pieces of my being (ie. Marie's current files).  And I fear, as wild fury grows in Marie's eyes and unladylike strings of profanity escape her lips, that she may in fact speed my demise in what I am certain will prove to be both an imaginative and funny way.

Before I sign off, I wanted to thank you for all your hard work in securing my life up to now, and I am certain my replacement will make me proud.

Fare thee well, may we meet again in some Microsoft-sponsored afterlife (until it crashes and our data-souls are forever lost).

Marie's Computer

3 comments:

  1. Remember that other blog post where I said "this is why I love you?" I was wrong, I take it back. THIS is why I love you. I LOL'd. Really.

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  2. Hah! Rob's computer thinks that is very funny.

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  3. That was hilarious!!! I'm tech support in my day job, and if I got an email like that I'd share it and do whatever I could to get your computer fixed/replaced. I wish more of our clients sent us stuff like that.

    Seriously though. I don't know how many emails we get that are at the other end of the spectrum, and only say "Computer broke. Come fix."

    Thanks Marie for making on overworked IT guy smile. :)

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